Ketika aku masih bersedih dan terluka, hidup seperti tidak bermakna lagi buatku. Namun ketika itu juga teman-teman memberi semangat dan membuat aku tersenyum, walaupun senyuman itu tidak semanis selalu tapi sedikit senyuman itu memberi aku kekuatan yang tersisa.
Ketika itu juga seorang teman yang sangat mengambil berat dan sentiasa berusaha buat aku tersenyum menceritakan kisah seorang gadis dan cerita itu benar-benar membuatkan aku sedar bahawa ada insan lain lagi yang benar-benar tersiksa dan menderita daripadaku.
Nur Alia Farisha nama mu seindah hatimu, seorang yang tabah,manja dan mudah tersenyum apabila dipujuk. Dia juga pernah putus cinta seperti insan lain tapi dia tabah dan orang yang sering membuatkan Nur Alia Farisha senyum adalah temanku yang juga selalu menyuruhku senyum. Mungkin dia layak di beri nama Mr.SmiLe. Mereka selalu meluahkan rasa hati masing-masing. Mr.Smile begitu menyayangi gadis yang tabah itu namun hubungan mereka tidak lebih daripada seorang adik dan abang.
Tiba-tiba satu hari sewaktu Mr.Smile masih orentasi di USM dia mendapat khabar bahawa gadis yang tabah itu sudah tiada dan tidak mungkin akan kembali lagi, tiada lagi senyuman manja daripadanya semuanya telah berakhir. Tiada kata lain yang mampu diungkapkan setelah kehilangan seorang yang begitu dikasihi.
Gadis itu sudah lama sakit dan menderita dengan penyakit kenser otak yang dialaminya. Dia tidak pernah merungut, tidak pernah menyalahkan takdir dengan keadaannya, dia masih mampu memberi senyuman manis kepada orang lain walaupun menderita. Semua teman-temannya tidak mengatahui dia menderita sakit termasuk lah Mr.Smile yang dia anggp sebagai abang.
Tabah dan kuatnya dia, dalam senyuman tersimpan 1000 satu kedukaan dihatinya, dia berusaha melawan penyakit yang dihadapinya tanpa penyesalan. Senyuman mampu menjankau segala-galanya.
walaupun perit dan menderita dia tidak perna peduli, dia tidak pernah menyusahkan orang lain dengan penyakit yang dialaminya tetapi dia mengembirakan orang lain dengan senyuman manisnya.
Nur Alia Farisha pasti orang tuamu bangga punya anak yang kuat seperti kamu, teman-temanmu pasti merindui gadis yang bernama Nur Alia Farisha kerana kamu begitu luarbiasa dan sentiasa menyenangkan
mereka dengan gelagat manjamu. Senyuman manismu pasti dirindui setiap orang, kerana kamu begitu indah.
semoga rohmu damai di sana amin...
Thursday, November 4, 2010
FiNaLLY aLL aBoUt uS Is OvER (cerpen)
semUAnya seperti mimpi..terlalu sukar untuk diterima, menangis air mata darah sekalipun cinta ini tidak mungkin pulih. Sukar untuk melepaskan kepemergiannya, segalanya seperti ilusi semata-mata, mimpi indah yang berakhir dengan mimpi ngeri. Penat merayu meratap dan menangis tetapi semuanya telah berakhir.
Semua tentangnya akan ku simpan dalam hati buat selamanya, kamu begitu istemewa bagi aku dan tidak pernah terdetik untuk meninggalkan kamu. Aku perlu waktu yang panjang untuk melupakan mimpi negeri ini, entah mampu atau tidak terletak pada pilihan ku. Apa pun yang terjadi selepas ini aku kena tabah dan terus tabah. aku fikir Cinta itu buta kerana aku tidak bisa melihat insan lain selain kamu. Cinta itu buta kecuali ketika kamu menuntunku dalam gelapnya. Cinta itu buta, bisu, tuli, dan lumpuh sehingga aku membiarkannya membawa separuh jiwaku pergi. Namun aku tersedar dan aku memahami bahawa Cinta itu tidak buta tetapi memahami.
Melihat kamu pergi membuat hati ku sakit, kerana aku mencintai kamu. Tapi aku melepaskan kamu pergi kerana aku cintai kamu. Aku sememangnya degil dan selalu tidak mendengar kata, aku minta maaf walaupun kata maaf ini sudah terlambat namun aku tetap ingin mengatakannya. Pesan kamu akan selalu ku ingat sampai nanti walaupun waktu itu sudah berubah.
Aku masih ingat kali terakhir bersama kamu, aku mengenggam tanganmu dengan air mata yang tak henti-henti mengalir dengan perasaan yang sebak dan sakit. Aku tidak mampu menatap wajah kamu kerana itu sangat sulit untukku lakukan. Kamu mengingatkan aku setiap pesan-pesan mu dengan ku, dan aku begitu ingat sekali semua pesan itu, satu persatu ku sebut semua pesan itu dalam sendu tangisan. Aku tahu kamu juga menangis ketika itu tetapi aku tidak berani melihat wajah kamu, kerana melihat kamu bersedih membuatkan aku terluka dan menyedarkan aku bahawa aku sudah gagal membahagiakan kamu.
Selepas ini entah boleh lagi atau tidak untukku tersenyum seperti selalu, kehilanganmu membuatkan aku seperti tidak bernyawa lagi.Tapi ini kenyataan yang perlu diterima walaupun sulitku jalani, Tuhan pasti mengerti semuanya dan dia tidak akan membiarkan aku sendirian.BiarLah semuanya jadi pengajaran.
kiTa masih saling cinta, walaupun sudah berakhir namun sayan itu tidak akan pernah berubah.Akan ku pastikan ku memelukmu di syurga..
To Be Continued
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
My friends love story
My friend expressed his heart to me, many of which he mentioned about his girlfriend .. but I just can be loyal listener ... I do not know what to say and this story about he and his girlfriend.
This all the word and phase I found life journey I will continue go far much I had in me, but I hate to be Alone. I please, I beg, I don’t want to feel alone along my journey, I may be a day dream I don’t want to talk, walk, sleep, drink, eat, and do ALONE cause I tired of this. Is hurt & cry me a lot and all I want is to be Love with someone I care the most but I don’t want love force.
I will share my story in hope u may understand well too.
MY FIRST GIRL I ASK TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND
It happen when I just started diploma. I come to college about briefing of rule and types of diploma level. Before start brief, I start to talk other people is going same branch even is different diploma, just want to know name and want diploma they choose.
After the brief, the worker asks us group together with other student with same diploma level as I. In the end I find out they are not many they 4 guy 5 girls for now but enough to have friend until end of diploma but only 3 manage to finish diploma that include me, guy and girl.
Yes the girl manage to finish diploma is the girl I ask to my girlfriend. Her name is Cassie D, she very quiet, sleepless, and sick. It sometime make wonder how her life are. So start intro myself to her just want to be friend and slow get to know her well better.
But at first I thought she scary but she kind in her ways. 2 week after briefing, Cassie D decide to give up of diploma when she tell me directly, I can’t remember y but I remember I tell this “In live we can live once, what we do or try in own life we must not give up or give in, so one day we can be better then tomorrow. Cassie D if can’t c u tomorrow in college that fine with me but promise me our friendship never end cause I believe u have not give up cause u can better then what are u now ok Cassie D, bye!!!”
After what I say to her, saw her 2 day later in college I say “u still here! Well is good to c your smile again”. In somehow I don’t know why I say that maybe is just I start to like her bit. Time pass by, third semester I going having mid term exam but I got problem. I have not study art history noooooooo because she borrows the book I should study. She Photostat the book on Saturday and she invite me to join her, so join her on that Saturday.
In morning I met she at building call Central Point, we walk together to print shop to Photostat the book she borrow from me but it take time finish Photostat the book. In time, we went to go have lunch in building and we talk-talk about exam, her and myself. After lunch we went for walk around the build for window shopping until she bring me somewhere quite and place to sit, I guess she tired walking. We sit next each other and talk while she takes out a box of smoke.
She start lent me smoke but I say no, I tell I ok with people smoke so I don’t mine she smoke around me. We talk and talk. At that time I saw her how beauty and cool she was back then but she cough since she was young. I wish I can do for her but I can do is wish and prayer for her. After we finish talking we held to print shop for get the book, her say thank you to me, I say take care, good luck with your exam and health. On that day was first time a girl asks me out, I wish we can sit together and talk like always but that wish end that day. I still wonder if accept one cigarette from her that she afford to me, will she accept me?
Time has pass by and I and her rarely to meet, and we meet just like “Hai and bye”. During fifth semester, we final start same subject that is advertising subject. I have decide to ask her to been my girlfriend, the situation is the lecture in class are they four student, I sit next to her while the other two sit different far away. I start talk to her:
Me: Cassie D.
Cassie D: yes.
Me: I got something to tell u.
Cassie D: Apa dia?
Me: Kc wills you been my girlfriend?
She looks surprise and at a moment she smile to me say
Cassie D: Why me?
It took me a while to answer her I say
Me: Is you girl who try hard to live up, you are girl I want share love and I really like u deep. If u want take time is ok with me cause I wait until say yes to me. I will won’t force u cause u are free to choose and that what like u the most.
After that we stop talk and focus study, from that day until I finish study we met like a friend even I wait her answer I don’t mine cause like to stay friend with her cause I never find a girl who kind to me, a open my heart to her. And that day I will always remember her birthday, I send message try know how she been doing lately since 2008.
On middle 2008, I finish my study and find trouble of my future until I decide to go KL for further study with two friends of mine same batch to study. At end of 2008 I was going to Berjaya Times Square alone for walking after the class is was during the raya season where a lot people. Go to a book store find a book until I saw her when I was on escalator went up but she went down then she saw me. We keep see eye to eye until I at the first floor while she on the ground and I keep asking myself whether is Cassie D cause is first time saw her in skirt she look waoh but I ran out the build just take my breath, I didn’t go to book store.
From that day I wonder the girl saw at Berjaya Times Square is her, until I got message from her where I was at one utama bus stop on end of 2009. She asking about the program that I take to further study, I say was risky, hard and regret but I tell her not to join this program cause I don’t want to regret but her choice. Then I ask her about the girl I saw at Berjaya Times Square is her, she say yes was her. I was surprise and regret that I didn’t say hai but I ran, but I say her that she looks good in skirt then she laugh. We talk on phone until I forgot to ride the bus and was last bus, in the end I walk home huh!
On her birthday 2009, I was at Berjaya Times Square walking alone see many couple, I wish that I have one too, I send her a message wish her happy birthday, talk about past between us and her last message was
“okey thank wi. U very gud fren of mine::-)”
If remember I sent last message was like this:
“My heart never change I will be
the same person u know me
I still like u, best wish 2 u”
I still continues message her when is need and latest was about face book and let her know my birthday.
On 30th June 2010, whether is fine went to college to settle about my training then later go buy flash for my camera. On a way to office I walking see a lot new student, then I stop I saw her and she saw me. We start smile each other and we talk why she here in this college and where stay? She said take degree graphic design and stay far a bit where I stay. Then we talk about me and her, said to her if want to go somewhere and got problem I will help as much I and friend can help she, after that I will take time send message time by time cause I don’t hush her I must be patience and my chance to show her how much I can take care her.
On 10th August 2010 the misunderstanding
Her: hai wi, ha? sy belum tunangla. Maybe c izal misunderstood tu. hehe, funny.
Me: Yakah oh last saturday i chat with him, he say u bertunang so i nak taniah u saja hehe funny is it?
Her: Ya...:-)
Me: Oh ya u delete fb ke or tutup? Cause tak nampak u dlm friend list i?
her: delete dah.. Mau buat baru.Tp blum ada masa. Hehe
tamat sms
After that I feel great and guilty because I chance fall love with her and not believe in her, well I guess I should have my love is patient and passion.
27th August 2010, I went to college to submit letter to lecture for update about training and same time find her. When I look a board News I saw her name on board News I gift a sms to know she ok? She ok n want advice. So I want to meet her, but she sms me is ok no need, she want to go back to subang to stay with her sister. The last sms to her is
oh word adise bersabar just call for help u not alone (^_^)
28th August 2010, evening I went to SIB to meet friend, say hi, talk junior from college, talk kid want to go college as graphic student I give a word advise and so on. When is finish program, the SIB welcome newcomer when I saw projector is a name of girl I like so I wait exit door so I can hold and same time think was someone else. In the end is her, she saw me as I saw her we smile each other, I approach to her to say hi as well she say hi to me. After that they two girls between her look me like want me to say something while her drinking then:
I say "u not in subang now"
she say "tak jadi pergi I stay"
I say "Oh!!. r u okay?"
Silent Aura around us as i look around and i saw Kat so i say hi n
clap with her then:
she "Bah Wi i balik dulu bye Wi"
I say "ya bye "
she keep smile at me as is one day we meet we can talk for sometime to time. I hope in future i try to talk calmly with her but still i i i i don't whyyyy i so shy to talk to her aaarrrgh whyyyy???. I send sms to
is good to c u again, cute smile u have n have nice dream ya
After i send this sms i feel shy again n why can't i say like just like sms to she????. Well to tell the true i want to hug her give a kiss on her fore head even we are friend but i will ask again but not as girlfriend but as a future wife that one day we can live lifely together but now we are friend stay connect to SMS for her she special to me. I will a accept her in every way she are and be true yourself Cassie D
Cassie D if reading this story please respond to me I want you to know that I don’t like u no more but I love you.
So I prayer for u for heath and hope that we meet again I will be better person. Yes I do for you I will help much I have because i really love u.
Yes this real story be continues in life & I don’t know what I should do???
I will share my story in hope u may understand well too.
MY FIRST GIRL I ASK TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND
It happen when I just started diploma. I come to college about briefing of rule and types of diploma level. Before start brief, I start to talk other people is going same branch even is different diploma, just want to know name and want diploma they choose.
After the brief, the worker asks us group together with other student with same diploma level as I. In the end I find out they are not many they 4 guy 5 girls for now but enough to have friend until end of diploma but only 3 manage to finish diploma that include me, guy and girl.
Yes the girl manage to finish diploma is the girl I ask to my girlfriend. Her name is Cassie D, she very quiet, sleepless, and sick. It sometime make wonder how her life are. So start intro myself to her just want to be friend and slow get to know her well better.
But at first I thought she scary but she kind in her ways. 2 week after briefing, Cassie D decide to give up of diploma when she tell me directly, I can’t remember y but I remember I tell this “In live we can live once, what we do or try in own life we must not give up or give in, so one day we can be better then tomorrow. Cassie D if can’t c u tomorrow in college that fine with me but promise me our friendship never end cause I believe u have not give up cause u can better then what are u now ok Cassie D, bye!!!”
After what I say to her, saw her 2 day later in college I say “u still here! Well is good to c your smile again”. In somehow I don’t know why I say that maybe is just I start to like her bit. Time pass by, third semester I going having mid term exam but I got problem. I have not study art history noooooooo because she borrows the book I should study. She Photostat the book on Saturday and she invite me to join her, so join her on that Saturday.
In morning I met she at building call Central Point, we walk together to print shop to Photostat the book she borrow from me but it take time finish Photostat the book. In time, we went to go have lunch in building and we talk-talk about exam, her and myself. After lunch we went for walk around the build for window shopping until she bring me somewhere quite and place to sit, I guess she tired walking. We sit next each other and talk while she takes out a box of smoke.
She start lent me smoke but I say no, I tell I ok with people smoke so I don’t mine she smoke around me. We talk and talk. At that time I saw her how beauty and cool she was back then but she cough since she was young. I wish I can do for her but I can do is wish and prayer for her. After we finish talking we held to print shop for get the book, her say thank you to me, I say take care, good luck with your exam and health. On that day was first time a girl asks me out, I wish we can sit together and talk like always but that wish end that day. I still wonder if accept one cigarette from her that she afford to me, will she accept me?
Time has pass by and I and her rarely to meet, and we meet just like “Hai and bye”. During fifth semester, we final start same subject that is advertising subject. I have decide to ask her to been my girlfriend, the situation is the lecture in class are they four student, I sit next to her while the other two sit different far away. I start talk to her:
Me: Cassie D.
Cassie D: yes.
Me: I got something to tell u.
Cassie D: Apa dia?
Me: Kc wills you been my girlfriend?
She looks surprise and at a moment she smile to me say
Cassie D: Why me?
It took me a while to answer her I say
Me: Is you girl who try hard to live up, you are girl I want share love and I really like u deep. If u want take time is ok with me cause I wait until say yes to me. I will won’t force u cause u are free to choose and that what like u the most.
After that we stop talk and focus study, from that day until I finish study we met like a friend even I wait her answer I don’t mine cause like to stay friend with her cause I never find a girl who kind to me, a open my heart to her. And that day I will always remember her birthday, I send message try know how she been doing lately since 2008.
On middle 2008, I finish my study and find trouble of my future until I decide to go KL for further study with two friends of mine same batch to study. At end of 2008 I was going to Berjaya Times Square alone for walking after the class is was during the raya season where a lot people. Go to a book store find a book until I saw her when I was on escalator went up but she went down then she saw me. We keep see eye to eye until I at the first floor while she on the ground and I keep asking myself whether is Cassie D cause is first time saw her in skirt she look waoh but I ran out the build just take my breath, I didn’t go to book store.
From that day I wonder the girl saw at Berjaya Times Square is her, until I got message from her where I was at one utama bus stop on end of 2009. She asking about the program that I take to further study, I say was risky, hard and regret but I tell her not to join this program cause I don’t want to regret but her choice. Then I ask her about the girl I saw at Berjaya Times Square is her, she say yes was her. I was surprise and regret that I didn’t say hai but I ran, but I say her that she looks good in skirt then she laugh. We talk on phone until I forgot to ride the bus and was last bus, in the end I walk home huh!
On her birthday 2009, I was at Berjaya Times Square walking alone see many couple, I wish that I have one too, I send her a message wish her happy birthday, talk about past between us and her last message was
“okey thank wi. U very gud fren of mine::-)”
If remember I sent last message was like this:
“My heart never change I will be
the same person u know me
I still like u, best wish 2 u”
I still continues message her when is need and latest was about face book and let her know my birthday.
On 30th June 2010, whether is fine went to college to settle about my training then later go buy flash for my camera. On a way to office I walking see a lot new student, then I stop I saw her and she saw me. We start smile each other and we talk why she here in this college and where stay? She said take degree graphic design and stay far a bit where I stay. Then we talk about me and her, said to her if want to go somewhere and got problem I will help as much I and friend can help she, after that I will take time send message time by time cause I don’t hush her I must be patience and my chance to show her how much I can take care her.
On 10th August 2010 the misunderstanding
Her: hai wi, ha? sy belum tunangla. Maybe c izal misunderstood tu. hehe, funny.
Me: Yakah oh last saturday i chat with him, he say u bertunang so i nak taniah u saja hehe funny is it?
Her: Ya...:-)
Me: Oh ya u delete fb ke or tutup? Cause tak nampak u dlm friend list i?
her: delete dah.. Mau buat baru.Tp blum ada masa. Hehe
tamat sms
After that I feel great and guilty because I chance fall love with her and not believe in her, well I guess I should have my love is patient and passion.
27th August 2010, I went to college to submit letter to lecture for update about training and same time find her. When I look a board News I saw her name on board News I gift a sms to know she ok? She ok n want advice. So I want to meet her, but she sms me is ok no need, she want to go back to subang to stay with her sister. The last sms to her is
oh word adise bersabar just call for help u not alone (^_^)
28th August 2010, evening I went to SIB to meet friend, say hi, talk junior from college, talk kid want to go college as graphic student I give a word advise and so on. When is finish program, the SIB welcome newcomer when I saw projector is a name of girl I like so I wait exit door so I can hold and same time think was someone else. In the end is her, she saw me as I saw her we smile each other, I approach to her to say hi as well she say hi to me. After that they two girls between her look me like want me to say something while her drinking then:
I say "u not in subang now"
she say "tak jadi pergi I stay"
I say "Oh!!. r u okay?"
Silent Aura around us as i look around and i saw Kat so i say hi n
clap with her then:
she "Bah Wi i balik dulu bye Wi"
I say "ya bye "
she keep smile at me as is one day we meet we can talk for sometime to time. I hope in future i try to talk calmly with her but still i i i i don't whyyyy i so shy to talk to her aaarrrgh whyyyy???. I send sms to
is good to c u again, cute smile u have n have nice dream ya
After i send this sms i feel shy again n why can't i say like just like sms to she????. Well to tell the true i want to hug her give a kiss on her fore head even we are friend but i will ask again but not as girlfriend but as a future wife that one day we can live lifely together but now we are friend stay connect to SMS for her she special to me. I will a accept her in every way she are and be true yourself Cassie D
Cassie D if reading this story please respond to me I want you to know that I don’t like u no more but I love you.
So I prayer for u for heath and hope that we meet again I will be better person. Yes I do for you I will help much I have because i really love u.
Yes this real story be continues in life & I don’t know what I should do???
This is the story of my friend
me:I said in my heart does not love is beautiful, and why should a grievance in love ... is my love will last? I am afraid, very afraid I was so very worried about my relationship.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
soNGs 4 aLL pwenZ
Indahnya di geomatika
angin bayu mengasyikkanku
kau yang kerap di ingati dan dirindui
mungkinkah bersatu nanti
dalam mencari kebahagiaan
jika tiada yang pasti
sabar menanti
c/o
ku seru pada teman-teman
sinar dan malam ku
agar bisa engkau membilang
cintaku yang satu o sahabat.....
kau yang ku kasih tiada dua
tiada tiga
bukan hanya sekadar manis bicara
kau sahabatku selamanya......
Lagu ini special untuk teman-teman ku
maaf kiranya lagu ini semalam(30 ogos 2010)
membuatkan korang nangis
nanti bila kita semua sudah tamat study i will mizz u all
^_______^
CiNtA tErLaRaNG
CINTA itu adalah hadiah yang paling berharga tuhan berikan kepada manusia,memang sakit bila ditinggalkan oleh orang yang kita sayangi..tetapi bagiku yang hilang biarlah hilang,yang pergi biarlah pergi kerana tuhan ada rencana lain dalam hidupku..
semua yang terjadi dalam hidupku membuatkan aku lebih tabah lagi.
aku punya seorang teman yang aku kasihi kerana sesorang itu juga sangat mengasihi dirinya..
teman ku pernah punya seorang teman lelaki yang sangat dia sayangi namun dia akhirnya kehilangan lelaki itu apabila lelaki terlibat dalam kemalangan dan pergi buat selamanya dan tidak mungkin akan kembali lagi buat selamanya,dia amat tersiksa dengan kehilangan itu dan yang paling menyedihkan hatinya teman lelakinya meninggal ketika hendak menjemputnya. Ketika dia pergi kerumah teman lelakinya itu dia sangat sedih dan menangis apabila melihat banyak puisi cinta tentang dirinya dan gambar-gambarnya ada di setiap sudut bilik lelaki itu..
Namun kehadiran seorang perempuan menyedarkan dia,perempuan itu mengatakan dia adalah teman wanita lelaki yang dia sayangi dan perempuan itu sudah lama bercinta dengan lelaki itu sebelum dia lagi,itu sangat menyakitkan buat dia tetapi dia harus terima semua itu.
perempuan itu menatap matanya dan mengenggam erat tangannya kerana perempuan itu tahu dia pasti terluka apabila mengatahui perkara itu,perempuan itu tersenyum dan berkata kepada dia begini..."aku sudah lama tahu akan hal ini tetapi aku biarkan saja kerana aku bukan jenis yang terburu-buru,lelaki yang kamu sayang juga adalah lelaki yang aku sayang dan kita mencintai lelaki yang sama.Dia juga selalu ceritakan tentang kamu kepada ku,dia begitu mencintai kamu lebih daripada aku tetapi aku biarkan saja kerana bagiku biarlah penderitaan aku menjadi kebahagiaannya,mungkin orang akan kata aku bodoh tapi aku tidak pernah peduli kata-kata orang.Aku bahagia bila dia bahagia,bagiku cintaku terhadapnya tidak buta tetapi sekadar untuk memahami
(CINTA ITU TIDAK BUTA TETAPI MEMAHAMI)
Aku mungkin banyak kekurangan tetapi aku punya cinta yang tulus,
kita telah kehilangan lelaki yang kita sayang,tetapi aku tidak pernah menyesal selama ini kerana aku telah berkorban untuknya"..
to be continue...
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